Ich Spreche Nicht Deutsch
Sunday, April 25th, 2004Wie Geht’s?
I thought I’d check in and clear out some of the cobwebs around here. Lately, I’ve been keeping myself occupied with a new project. For some unknown and completely arbitrary reason, I’ve decided I want to learn to speak German. Maybe it is for reasons of heritage. My father’s father is German. Maybe it is because German is widely regarded as one of the easiest languages for native English-speakers to learn, as both spring from a common West Germanic proto-tongue. But more likely than either of those reasons, is because anything you say sounds cool in German.
Die Katze ist unter der Flugzeug!!
It’s true. Anything said in German automatically assumes an air of authority and urgency. Perhaps this is merely a result of Germany’s aggressions in the first half of the last century. But I think it has more to do with the intrinsic nature of the language itself; switching back and forth between staccato and glottal consonants, and umlauted vowels. There is a reason why police and the military often train their dogs in German - because it sounds really scary.
But whatever the reason, I’ve picked up some materials and am in the process of getting in touch with my inner Teuton. But even as I begin, I know I am destined to fail; but not from lack of ability. Afterall, I am fluent in English. It only took a few years to learn. I learned Spanish in high school, and was quite conversational at the time. I can even read and write L33t! (in several dialects). And from what I hear, there are toddlers in Germany who have managed to pick up the fundamentals, so how hard can it be?
No, I will fail because I am one of those people who can’t finish anything they start. It’s not that I have a short attention span. In fact, for someone of the second TV generation, I am able to sit still for surprisingly long periods. I have read books of over 1,000 pages in length. And, perhaps most impressive of all, I am completely comfortable putting down the remote control while watching a television show. But for some reason, everytime I start a project I will inevitably set it all aside for something else. My track record is pretty dismal. Guitar? Out of tune. Physics books? Collecting dust. Weblog? Neglected for weeks at a time. (Sorry about that.)
I can only hope I have the tenacity to stick with this - at least long enough to order ein Bier properly should I ever find myself in der Vaderland, and to find my way to the restroom afterward. But I wouldn’t hold my breath. In fact, lately I’ve kind of been thinking of taking up the guitar.
Tschüß.