After reading a post on one of the blogs I read regularly (each of which is very good, and I recommend you read them all… right now), I realized that I am about to spend my last weekend as a single man. Wow. For those of you who don’t know me personally, I have been engaged to a really swell gal for over two and a half years now. We like each other a lot, so we’re making it official on the 27th of this month in Des Moines, Iowa. Incidentally, that places me out of town for over a week, so new entries will be few and far between (if any) until the week of August 4th. You’ll never miss me though, as I can never seem to update this site more than once a week anyway.
As my fiance is out of town preparing for the wedding, this will be my last “bachelor” weekend. This means that after this weekend, I will never get to do the following things again:
1. Eat macaroni & cheese and nachos for three meals a day
2. Leave my underwear lying about on the floor
3. Set my Monty Python’s Flying Circus DVDs on endless rotation
4. Drink directly out of the carton/bottle
5. Sleep sideways across the bed
All in all, I feel this is a fair trade. Nonetheless I feel the need for one last party… one last weekend of irresponsibility before married life forces me to be an adult. It is in the characteristically male spirit of irresponsibility and determined self-destruction that a man and his friends get together before his wedding for a bachelor party. As I will likely not have time to have such a gathering, I invite my male readers to join me on my virtual bachelor party.
At this point, I warn all women to stop reading. This is guys-only stuff! There’s going to be drinking, and probably some boobies.
…
OK, now that the coast is clear, grab a beer. A couple of my favorites are this one, and this one. This one is even OK sometimes, but if you order this crap, I’ll have to ask you to leave.
Who’s for raunchy jokes? Anything scatological is funny too. Ha ha.. Pull my finger!
Hey, I’m pretty sure there’s supposed to be some girl jumping out of a cake at this point. Hopefully it’s someone who looks something like this, or this, or this. But if you’re waiting for someone who looks like this, you’re at the wrong party.
Well, that was certainly exciting. Thanks for coming! Now go home and sober up before the ceremony.
Bye for now.