Weather or Not
Well you’ve probably already heard the news. El Niño™ is here.
In case you’ve been living under a rock (or in one of those places where weather forecasting is considered witchcraft), El Niño™ is a weather disturbance between the ocean and the atmosphere in the tropical Pacific Ocean. Since the Pacific Ocean covers nearly a third of the earth’s surface area, we’re talking about a considerable weather phenomenon.
El Niño™ is a Spanish term which probably means “wet air” or something, and it is the most holy of holiday seasons for meteorologists. It is the one time when no one actually expects them to make an accurate prediction. Even though they cannot seem to explain to us what actually causes El Niño™, the one thing they can tell us is that there will be a lot of rain. Or not. And in an El Niño™ year it is always cold - without fail. Except that sometimes it is warm.
So you see, El Niño™ is a highly scientific phenomenon that the layperson is incapable of understanding. Therefore, it is only logical that we are fascinated by it. In an El Niño™ year, the phenomenon itself becomes a celebrity. It begins making cameo appearances on the most popular, cutting-edge, entertainment media like The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, The Late Show with David Letterman, and Voodoo Time Dot Com. People talk about it at social gatherings. And then there are the musical tributes and film adaptations. And, of course, El Niño™ is all over the news as well. All over the news. Big time.
See, here in Sunny Southern California™, we’re not used to getting a whole lot of rain. When it does happen, things get a little stupid. People forget how to drive, and how to turn off their automatic sprinkler systems. And the same people who spent all summer complaining about how hot and dry it was while their houses were burning down, are now the most vocal in expressing their disapproval of the rain. So it’s only natural that people are increasingly concerned about the weather.
Even so, I don’t know how many more times I can hear the words El Niño™ before I do something unpredictable and/or rude. Really. It’s rain. There is no link to international terrorism or Saddam Hussein. Most of us are going to be okay.
(But not this guy. He’s pretty much screwed.)
Bye for now.