Voodoo Time Dot Com

So the Anaheim Angels are in the World Series, and may in a few hours, be World Series champions for the first time. In spite of myself, I’m a little excited. I say “in spite of myself” because a couple months ago, I resolved no longer to watch Major League Baseball. As we crept ever closer to yet another players’ strike, I was disgusted by the greed and arrogance that has perverted “America’s Game”. So, of course, just after washing my hands of it all, my favorite team goes to the Show.

Anyway, the whole idea of me being excited by any sport is pretty rare. Despite my passing interest in baseball, I am, as a rule, completely uninterested in most sports. In my personal opinion, the amount of time and energy spent on sports fandom could be better applied to things like civics or literacy. People burn down whole cities after sporting events, but when’s the last time you saw a riot for better schools? The same people who will spend an entire Saturday painting a sign to support their favorite quarterback could never be bothered to paint up a sign protesting political issues. The reality of the whole thing is that ultimately, the outcome of any sporting event is completely meaningless.

You can probably see how my point of view is somewhat unpopular. Being a man of rather slight build, the fact that I don’t spend my Sundays watching football tends to emasculate me all the more among my stouter and more hirsute comrades. I never really cared to participate in sporting events as a child - which is probably due to the fact that, by an unfortunate fluke of genetics, I was born with no athletic skill whatsoever. It’s a diagnosed medical condition - athleticus patheticus. I’m missing a gene or something.

Having spent my childhood as a dodgeball target, I’m entirely willing to consider the possibility that my disinterest is all just “sour grapes”. Because of my medical condition (see above), I was usually chosen just before the kid with no legs when teams were chosen for kickball in elementary school. It’s entirely possible that my early sporting experiences have sullied my views on the subject. Whatever.

I will probably tune in to the game in a few minutes though. I have to see what the rally monkey is up to tonight. I’d watch more sports if there were more monkeys involved. Everything goes better with monkeys. Seriously.

Bye for now.

This entry was posted on Sunday, October 27th, 2002 at 5:26 pm and is filed under Soapbox. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.