Pink
I was out at a customer’s site last week doing some server diagnostics and maintenance along with one of our PC technicians. He was there to put in an iMac PC (yes, Macs are Personal Computers too) for a new user there. This particular iMac happened to be the older “fruit-flavored” series. The PC also happened to be pink - strawberry actually.
So the tech sets this PC down and starts hooking it up. Once he had it all set up, a young lady in the next cubicle peered over and saw what was taking place. Here’s what happened:
Cubicle Lady: “Uhhhmmm… That’s not going to work.”
Tech: “Sure it will. We tested it in the office before I got here.”
CL: “No. I mean that color. You’re going to have to bring in a different one.”
T: “Why? What’s wrong with it?”
CL: “It’s pink.”
T: “It’s strawberry actually.”
CL: “The new assistant is a guy. He won’t want to work on a pink computer.”
T: “Did you ask him?”
CL: “No, but he’s a guy. Would you want to work on a pink computer?”
T: “It’s strawberry - and yeah, sure I’d use it. It’s just a tool anyway.”
CL: “Well, he’s not ‘one of those’ so I doubt he’ll like it as much as you do.”
T: “Look, it’s not as if it’s a big shining beacon of pink anyway - I mean the keyboard is orange and the mouse is teal!”
CL: “It’s not right to make him use a pink computer.”
T: “For one, if having a pink computer makes him insecure in his masculinity that’s his problem. Second, this one is already configured and ready to go - we’re not building a whole new machine just so this guy can have a ‘manly’ computer. Besides, all the colored models look fruity anyway.”
It went on that way for some time. Cubicle Lady could not let go of the idea that a pink computer was going to turn the new assistant into a flaming homosexual - as if “the new guy” is going to walk in as Wilt Chamberlain and walk out as Christopher Lowell. I can just see it…
“What the hell is this?! A pink computer? Is this some kind of joke?! I mean really… A strapping heterosexual guy like me could never be seen in front of a gay homosexual pink computer like this! No sir! I mean, this thing better not be here again tomorrow. I need something more masculine like orange, or hot cherry, or teal. Oh well… I hope no one sees me using this gay computer. I’ll use it today - work’s gotta get done. But I can’t be using a gay pink computer everyday. I mean it’s pink… and gay! It’s kind of a cool-looking pink though. I’d call it ’strawberry’ actually. It’s practically red. Cool. I don’t know why they gave me an orange keyboard and a teal mouse though. They should just bring ’strawberry’ ones so they match. Boy, I’m starting to feel a little funny. And why is the music from Les Miserables running through my head? Boy do I love men!”
Uh oh.. Cubicle Lady was right - the computer did turn him gay! I guess there’s a lesson to be learned here. You shouldn’t use computers. Using computers will make you gay.