Voodoo Time Dot Com

There is a man from India who claims he can orchestrate World Peace™ for the modest sum of $1 billion. The man is Maharishi Mahesh Yogi - guru to many thousands of people worldwide who have come seeking happiness through the Maharishi’s Transcendental Meditation™ techniques. The $1 billion will be enough to train and support 40,000 expert meditators who will immediately set to work on meditating on world peace and transmitting ultra-positive vibrations that will bring all of humanity in tune with one another. The $1 billion amounts to some $25,000 per meditator. Not to be a pessimist, but I think it would be prudent to ask for some sort of guarantee.

The idea behind all of this is that if enough people think happy thoughts, then happiness will manifest itself throughout the world regardless of how ugly the other 6 billion of us are. The end result: the happy thoughts of 40,000 Indian guys are going to wash that pain right out of our hair. I’m not sure about the significance of 40,000 meditators. There was a time in my life when I worked for $25,000/year. I don’t think I generated a whole lot of happiness back then.

Then I found out that the annual per capita income in India is a whopping $450. This is 1.5% of the annual per capita in the U.S. of $31,000. A $25,000 paycheck for these Indian meditators is the equivalent of a $1.7 million paycheck in the United States! Now I see where the happiness is coming from. If someone handed you a check for $1.7 million, how much happiness could you project? I, for one, would get pretty damn happy in a hurry. I wouldn’t even have to meditate.

I have to think that someone out there can do better than this. Personally, I think it won’t be long before a competing Maharishi puts in a lower bid. I think we should wait a little while. There is a rule when you are looking for a house or a car. You never buy the first one you see. Since world peace is apparently a big-ticket item, I suggest we hold off for now. In a few years, I think world peace is going to be really affordable.

As a world leader in socio-political philosophy, the think tank here at the VoodooTime Institute have put together our own plan for world peace and happiness, and we’re giving it away for free. The plan is simple really, yet profound in its elegance.

Silk underpants. Because it’s really hard to be angry in silk underpants.

Bye for now.

This entry was posted on Saturday, July 6th, 2002 at 10:59 pm and is filed under Funny. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.