Ich bin ein Player
As I mentioned several months ago — twelve (zwölf) months ago, to be exact — I am learning to speak German. My studies began in earnest only a couple of (ein Paar) months ago when I purchased a self-paced audio package. Even if you’ve never done one of these courses before, you already know how it goes.
“Viederholen Sie, bitte: Gunther habe kein Geld.”
“Gunther has no money.”
“Ich weiß nicht, wo meine Frau ist”
“I do not know where my wife is.”
…and so on.
By now I’ve logged something like twenty (Zwanzig) hours in my car repeating various phrases meant to teach me the fundamentals of German speech. The course is quite good, and already I am pleasantly surprised by the variety of phrases I can construct with only the tiny bit of the language I’ve learned so far. And at the same time, I am learning loads about German culture.
For example, in lesson two (zwei) I learned how to communicate my cravings for beer and wine. And the subsequent lessons have had me informing waiters, friends, hotel clerks, and whoever will listen that I would like to drink a beer. Or wine, please. Not until lesson seventeen (siebzehn) did I learn how to ask for water. But it is well known that the German people have a passion for beer. No surprises there.
There also seems to be an inordinate amount of socializing going on in and around hotels - especially between acquaintances of the opposite sex, and involving alcohol. Take, for example, this exchange from a recent lesson.
Hello, Gunther.
Hello. What would you like to do?
I don’t know.
Would you like to drink something with me?
Yes, gladly!
Would you like to drink beer?
Yes, I would like to drink a beer.
Would you like some wine also?
Not yet. Later.
Would you like something to drink at the restaurant?
No, not at the restaurant.
In the hotel?
Yes, at the hotel.
If all goes well, I hope to visit Germany later this year and speak to the people in their language when possible. Unfortunately, I don’t see much chance of being able to sneak my most practiced phrases into casual conversation. Given my current marital situation, I don’t imagine I’ll have the opportunity to approach a young lady and ask, in my best German, “Excuse me. I don’t know where my wife is. Would you like to drink wine with me in my hotel?”
Auf Wiedersehen.