Cage of Aquarius
If you’re looking to get some insight into a weird pet, perhaps you should consult the Zodiac. I haven’t been able to find any pet horoscopes yet though - which is disappointing but understandable I guess. I suppose there’s not a lot of potential for variation in a dog’s life.
Aries: Your restless spirit may drive you to sniff around the house for any food that may have been dropped on the floor. However, you should try to take some time to enjoy the simple joy of licking your own butt. Prepare for conflict in the afternoon; mail carrier plays a part.
Taurus: Misunderstandings are probable today, so it’s best to avoid casual sniffing of others’ private parts. Instead, enjoy the quiet solitude of a roll in the mud. Reestablish boundaries by urinating on anything stationary.
You get the idea…