I have received my sample ballot for the upcoming gubernatorial recall election. After reviewing the candidates, I have determined that there is no way I can make a choice without hating myself in the morning.
So, I’ve decided that if I’m going to compromise my integrity, then there ought to be something in it for me. That is why I have decided to sell my vote.
For Sale: One vote in the California statewide special election on October 7, 2003.
The highest bidder will choose my votes in the recall election. This consists of the YES/NO vote for the recall of Governor Gray Davis, and also the decision of who will succeed Governor Davis should he be successfully recalled. Additionally, you will decide my votes for State Measures 53 and 54.
This is a great way for non-Californians to participate in this historic event! Also a great, original gift idea for minors, expatriate Californians, or fans of celebrity candidates!
For my part, I will ensure that your vote is placed correctly, and completely free of hanging chads. After your vote is placed, I will send the following items:
(1) Official sample ballot – sure to be a historic collectors item. Similar items have appreciated in value over $1000! (Please note this is not a guarantee of future value)
(1) Signed statement of performance promising that I have placed my votes in accordance to your wishes
(1) “I have voted” sticker
(1) Danish, donut, bagel, or other pastry (if available in polling area)
Please make your bids in the comments section. Bidding begins immediately, and will continue until October 6, 2003. I will also consider products or services in trade or barter!
OK – In order to avoid the hairy eyeball from The Man, I have to mention that selling votes is illegal in every state, and under no circumstances will I actually consider selling my vote. This is all in fun.
I will consider parting with the sample ballot if anyone really wants it.
YOU ARE FRICKEN AWESOME!!! I love coming here and reading your blog. This is classic. I love it. Maybe I can make a suggestion which could help you vote without compromising your integrity. Open your blog up as a pre-voting booth where you hold an online election. The winning candidate in your election becomes your vote in the California Recall Election.
GREAT IDEA and I think you should go through with it. Alternatively you could go to your voting station and make a huge public display about how your choices are all bad and then rip up your ballot and leave it on the floor.
okay, maybe I like stageleft’s idea better. It’s more dramatic.
We does the best we can