Planet of the Apes
I just posted over at Chapel Perilous about a Swiss man whom I admire named Erich von Daniken. The reason I admire Mr. von Daniken is not that he is a prolific author, having sold well over 50 million books worldwide. It is not that he has appeared on several successful television programs or even that he has built his own theme park. I admire Erich von Daniken because he has an idea that annoys a lot of people.
Von Daniken’s controversial theory, in a nutshell, is that ancient astronauts from another world visited our planet in prehistoric times and performed genetic experiments with primitive primates. By mixing their alien DNA with that of various apes, these extraterrestrial scientists created humankind. This is precisely the kind of idea that is likely to irritate a lot of people. If there is anything that can unite the Creationists and the Darwinists, it’s this idea of the martian-monkey-man. And nothing good ever comes from that.
On first pass, the whole thing does sound a bit silly, or at the very least unlikely. But with an open mind, on the surface at least, it makes a little sense. Consider, for example, the recent findings that humans and chimpanzees share over 98% of our genetic recipe. But with that 2% difference, we have had the greatest impact on the planet of any species that has ever lived. Of course, many results of that impact make me think that this whole experiment could have done with one or two more iterations.
So to our hypothetical alien forebears, I’d just like to say that this joke isn’t funny anymore. I think it’s been abundantly clear for millenia now that this whole civilization thing is not working out as planned. In our currrent form, it appears that the ape to alien ratio is skewed a bit too much toward the former. I don’t know if you guys are still checking in on us, but if so, how about another shot of smart? This gene pool could use a little more chlorine.
On a side note, I’ve always thought that monkeys in human clothes was really funny. Now I’m starting to wonder if it’s really just a little ironic.
Bye for now.
September 8th, 2003 at 2:19 pm
I presonally think it’s more than a little plausible, probably reptiles were tried out too.
September 8th, 2003 at 2:35 pm
I was thinking reptiles would be an interesting choice as well… Although it would take a bit more work to give them usable hands and get them to walk upright. Maybe that’s why they just went with apes.
It’s just as well… Sleestaks creep me out.